Holes in My Backyard

My husband always wanted to build a mikvah in Bellevue!

I always resisted!

“What do you mean just dig a hole in our backyard. It’s not just a hole; you need cement, a building, a permit, towels ..”

This went on for some years with my husband insisting it wasn’t a big deal and me insisting that in this case I knew best and we were not putting a mikvah in on our property, end of story, and after all there was a perfectly nice mikvah in Seattle.

Well all that changed around six years ago when we decided to build an addition to our home. A new fully decked out kosher kitchen with two refrigerators, two sinks, two ranges two…you get the idea, basically my dream kitchen. My children were physically getting bigger not to mention more numerous (thank g-d)  and my tiny kitchen was bursting at the seams. With a full house on all the holidays and most Friday nights, the new kitchen was a must!

Every thing was progressing beautifully, I had everything picked out, we had found a great contractor that we were really comfortable with, and we were ready to roll.

It was when we returned from a Bar-Mitzvah in New York that everything changed. Four ten foot pits for the cement posts that would support the new kitchen had been dug in our absence. Excited, we rushed to the kitchen window to survey the new developments. My husband took one look at those freshly dug pits and his eyes took on an alarming gleam of determination.

“Rochie, look how deep those holes are, I think we should do it once and for all. Instead of building the kitchen on posts we should build a foundation and put a mikvah under the kitchen ”

“You can’t just add a mikvah in the middle of this whole thing,” I protested. “The design is done, the plans have been submitted and approved, and Dan (our contractor) is going to flip out.  He’s a kitchen and bath man he doesn’t know anything about mikvot. Plus who will run this mikvah?”I demanded hormonally (I was expecting my fifth child).

“Leave it to me,” said my husband.  “Oh and Rochie, you’ll make a great mikvah attendant.”

And that was it, willy nilly, before you knew it Dan and my husband were looking at Mikvah designs on the web.  A Rabbi who was an expert in Mikvot was flown in, donors who gave grants just for mikvot contacted and plans where drawn up. It was amazing, you could really see that when you are trying to accomplish something positive everything just  falls into place. Most of the funds came from outside sources, but there where those in our community who gave generously too, wanting to be part of this mitzvah. Oh, and the tiles I dreaded choosing; well we went to Thomson Tile in Tukwilla and the owner, a Jewish man who lives in Toronto, Canada, gives tile at cost price for new Mikvot. We chose the tile in one sitting and still love them.

Did you know that if a community has funds for only a synagogue or a mikvah, they need to build a mikvah first (that is, if there isn’t one close by). Yes the mikvah has been the cornerstone of Jewish family life since the days of Moses. Even while besieged in Masada by the Romans, mikvot were constructed and utilized.

What is the mikvah? The mikvah is a ritual bath made up of two pools. These pools are either side by side, or one on top of the other, one filled with rain water and one with city water. They are usually separated by a stone plate with a hole  in it so that the waters intermingle. The rain water renders the ritual bath “mayim chaim,” living waters. The whole constructon was amazing to me, the way that the rain water is collected, the hidden rain water pool, and the way the tiles are installed–it’s very detailed. Of course you can also immerse in any living (flowing) body of water.  Lake Washington anybody?

Mikvot today are filtered and heated with lovely decor and comfortable, luxurious preparation rooms.

The mikvah waters have the ability to effect change. These holy waters can change you from an impure state to pure. Pure  in this case does not mean clean, but rather a spiritual state, not physical. In Judaism the laws of purity and impurity (Taharah) are part of a category called “Chukim,” decrees.

All the Miztvot (commandments) in the Torah fall into one of three categories, Eidut, Mishpatim, and Chukim.

• Eidut (testimonials) come to commemorate a certain event, they testify to something, like eating matzah on Pesach testifies to the fact that G-d took us out of Egypt with a mighty hand, or kiddush on Friday night testifies to the fact that G-d created the world in six days and rested on the seventh.
• Then there are Mishpatim (civil laws) these are basic laws of societal living such as do not steal, commit murder, and all the laws of damages.
• The above mentioned “Chukim” (decrees) are mitzvot that we keep without, for lack of a better term, “satisfactory explanations” meaning we don’t really have the reason. Like kosher for example, there have been many noted benefits to “keeping kosher” but the truth is kosher is a spiritual diet. There might be health benefits, but we keep kosher because we belive that the G-d who created us also created a diet that is the best diet spiritually and physically. The same goes for the laws of purity and impurity.  Why a mikveh? Why does it have to be forty “seah” (a biblical measurement)? Again we don’t have reasons for this we only know that we become impure usually through coming into contact with death, such as a dead body, for instance.  For women it is monthly after menstruation ( since what could have nourished a life dissolves)  and  immersing in a mikveh, in “mayim chaim,” living waters has the ability to render us pure. Keeping Chukim is very precious to us  and to G-d because we are basically saying “we don’t fully understand why, but we have faith in G-d and if this is his commandment this is what we will do”.

So began my career as a mikveh attendant. An attendant facilitates the mitzvah.  I schedule appointments, keep the mikveh clean and well stocked and make sure that the immersion is “kosher,” meaning the whole body gets under the water. I try to be kindly and sensitive and private.  I  don’t do this alone, I am very lucky to have a wonderful team of volenteers  that help keep our mikveh flowing (no pun intended).

Its an amazing thing, this mikveh, this project  I so resisted. It  has been so enriching, so rewarding, we have women who use the mikveh from all different backgrounds and walks of life, but when it comes to their mikvah night they are all the same, quiet, introspective, feeling the moment, the kedusha (holiness) of this special mitzvah.

The mikveh heater was out of commission last week, so we needed to close it for a a few days. Guess what, it felt strange without the quiet comings and goings of our “users”.

So, I never asked for the job, and I certainly resisted it, but now I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Its not even hard to admit that in this case I certainly did not know best!

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